“Good afternoon, girls and boys! Welcome to our girl-boy-programme in the great hall at the Uffetton School for Girls. My name is Jennffer. For those of you who don't know I'm the administration assistant here at the girls' school. If you have a problem with the girl-boy-programme, or anything, just come and ask me.”
“First of all would Catherine, our head girl, and Henry, the head boy, and Peter, the deputy head boy, come up on the platform and join me. Thank you!”
“Miss Pringold and Mr Cricklewaite opened the first seminar in our girl-boy-programme. Thank you! We have started with three very interesting talks. First Mrs Churndel from the Careers Advisory Office about finding your first job. Mr Leftlloyd is both governor and architect and gave us an introduction to architecture. Mr Black described running a small business.”
“So let's show our thanks!” I kicked Catherine:
“OK, girls!
Let's hear the Uffetton Roar for Mrs Churndel, Mr Leftlloyd and Mr Black!”
Hip, Hip, Uffetton!
Hip, Hip, Uffetton!
Hip, Hip, Hooray!
I kicked Henry:
“OK, boys!
Let's hear the Great Uffetton for Mrs Churndel, Mr Leftlloyd and Mr Black!”
Hip, Hip, Uffetton!
Hip, Hip, Great Uffetton!
Hip, Hip, Hoorah! Hip, Hip, Hoorah!
“Thank you! Thank you! But the programme for today continues. I want all of you to form groups of two or three girls and two or three boys. That's right! I want you girls to show the boys around this school and its wonderful grounds. And don't forget to visit the building site, Mr Leftlloyd will be there with his hard hat on to show you the building work for the new gym. Thank you, Mr Leftlloyd!”
“Next Friday the seminar is at the Great Uffetton School for Boys. The list of speakers is not yet complete. Perhaps I will have to give an introduction to accounting. No, no! Stop groaning. That was just a joke.”
“You have 30 minutes for the tour, show the boys how wonderful our school is, and then go to the great dining hall for tea and biscuits and a big chinwag. Don't be bashful! Let's go!”
I took Catherine, Henry, Peter and Miss Scunthorpe directly to the great dining hall. Cook had laid out plates of biscuits and cakes. There was tea and coffee to drink and a mug of cocoa for me. Cook is too kind.
The four of them had so much to talk about. Henry, captain of the boys' football team, and Peter, captain of the boys' cricket team, were amazed by the size of our school grounds. Miss Scunthorpe liked the swimming pool at the boys' school. Perhaps something could be arranged, the boys could use our running track and the girls the swimming pool. Perhaps the girls could learn football, did we really need two hockey fields?
The great dining hall filled with boys and girls and their voices. I'm not interested in sport and was silent. My mind was elsewhere. I wanted something. What could I see? I wanted a boy.