clip clop

We had the name IDIOT in big black letters on our tee-shirts.

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Copyright © 2019, Michael M Wayman

We did lots of videos for 9gals! but one in particular I remember well. It was a piss‑take of Hey Hey We’re The Monkees. Our version was Hey Hey We’re The Idiots and we sang We're the idiots, and we've got nut‑hin to say.

We wore our standard dress: white tee-shirts, short white shorts and white plimsolls. But instead of our names in big black letters on the front and back of our tee-shirts we had the name IDIOT in big black letters on the back and front of our tee-shirts. The video was shot at our big house.

Mrs Greatscan wore her trademark suspenders under her shorts and nylon stockings. And Jimmie wore a tee-shirt-dress which reached down to his knees. He had also grown a beard and a moustache for the occasion. Mrs Greatscan wore a stick-on beard and moustache. They looked reasonably idiotic.

In one shot Mary pulled out all the drawers from a chest of drawers and threw them out of the window. Mo took the chest to the top of the stairs, got in it and careened down the stairs and out the front door. Margaret put the chest with Mo in it on the back of a flat-bed truck and drove to the recycling centre.

There was back shot of the policewoman sitting on a chair. She lifted her right leg which had a very large boot on it, she pulled out a very large handgun and shot herself in her foot.

Jo took Jolly and Jenny for a walk with leads and dog collars, Jolly and Jenny on all fours.

Enda sat outside the house smiling at the camera little knowing that there was a big black bomb with a lit fuse under her chair. Big explosion – much smoke – Enda was now sitting on the roof of the house wearing black clothes and still smiling.

Margaret Thatcher played a double-necked guitar with four hands, another Margaret Thatcher flew around the house playing a saxophone.

Harlequin strangled Eloise and the Eloise strangled Harlequin – they took it in turns.

Jollity talked to Enrica via a tin can, a very short length of taut string and another tin can. Enrica talked to Jollity via a tin can, a very short length of taut string and another tin can. They took it in turns.

Hey Hey We’re the Idiots We're the idiots And we've got nut‑hin to say.

We looked reasonably idiotic and possibly reasonably crazy. In the last shot we all jump into the pool.