The Roberts' Revival Band, plays music without any instruments.

StoryKettle » Amy » Autobahn

Copyright © 2018, Michael M Wayman

“Hello, I'm Jim Simes from WesPro, your favourite TV station. Do you know where I am? No, I don't know either, but I think you'd like to be where I am. I'm in the Wonder Bus travelling from Frankfurt to Munich.”

“Hello Mary, Margaret and Mo. Are you performing tonight in Munich?”

“You bet we are, but in the late afternoon.”

“It's going to be great.”

“We want to try out our ‘Men of Harlech’ finale.”

“So, girls, a few questions. How come you manage to get all your stuff and all your people into one bus? Where is Jimmie, the policewoman and Trace?”

“We use very little equipment, so less baggage and roadies to set it up and run it.”

“Just one amplifier for announcements, no musical instruments, just our nine voices and Trace of course.”

Jenny, Jolly and Jo join in. “And no lighting ever since the disaster in New York, a lighting gantry almost killed us.”

“And that means all performances are in the open and in daylight.”

“No problem, as long as it does not snow.”

Eloise, Enrica and Enda join in. “Jimmie's driving the bus.” “The policewoman is not with us today.”

“And Trace is sitting on the roof.”

“Well girls, why does the policewoman never go on your tours?”

“Easy, the policewoman wants to remain a policewoman.”

“She really likes being a policewoman, she wants a remain a policewoman.”

“She won't tell us her name, she wants to remain faceless.”

“Just an ordinary policewoman, don't try to contact her.”

“But she is one of the team – we like her – we love her.”

“And here's Amy.”

“Hello Amy, I'm Jim Simes from WesPro, your favourite TV station. Tell me something.”

“Hello Jim. We had a great concert yesterday in Frankfurt on the Main river bank. And today we're in the Englischer Garten in München. We've planned two rehearsals en route – that'll surprise you.”

“The concerts here in Europe are all free?”

“Yes, yes. It cuts down on costs. 9gals! earn their living from the sales of their music and stuff. They've just bought a big house to live in, Jimmie's cottage was much too small for the twelve of us.”

“Hello Trace.”

Hello, you're Jim Simes from WesPro, somebody’s favourite TV station.”

“You've been sitting on the roof of the bus? Do you sit on the roof of airliners...”

“No, no, on the wing. Margaret Thatcher was a right-winger.”

“Your band, the Roberts' Revival Band, plays music without any instruments and the players all look like Margaret Thatcher...”

“Yes. It saves space on the bus.”

“Amy breaks in. “Something's about to happen, talk to Jimmie.”

“Jim moves to the front of the bus. “Hello Jimmie.”

“Hi Jim, we're on the A3 Autobahn and it's time for Autobahn.” The band plays and the girls sing:

Wir fahr'n fahr'n fahr'n auf der Autobahn, Fahr'n fahr'n fahr'n auf der Autobahn Wir fahr'n fahr'n fahr'n auf der Autobahn, Fahr'n fahr'n fahr'n auf der Autobahn Jetzt schalten wir ja das Radio an

Jimmie pulls off the Autobahn into a large car park. 9gals! continue to sing, they march off the bus and line up by the side of the bus and sing:


A big crowd gathers round the bus, lots of picture taking, 9gals! are well known. “So what do you think of our rehearsal trick. Everybody loves 9gals! – we give free performances.”

Ah, deine blauen Augen Machen mich so sentimental So blaue Augen Wenn du mich so anschaust Wird mir alles andere egal

“So girls, are you going to start the show with your names on your chests?”

“Oh, yes.” “Definitely.” “That's a given.” “Sure.” “Ja.” “Same procedure as every year.” “Do you expect anything different?” “Affirmative.” “100%”

In the second half of the show the 9gals! play Müller-Westernhagen's Johnny Walker and Grönemeyer's Sanitäter in der Not and their own number My Partner:

I saw him naked in the bedroom. He touched my crolated nerve. He ran heavily through the hallway. I had to swiftly swerve. He drinks coffee in the morning. He goes shopping for some food. I've got a lot of need. He has another mood. He drinks alcohol in the evening. He's legless, he's really peed. I've got a lot of need. I've got a lot of need.

A cloud of black fog covers the stage, many black shapes move around the stage, a girl appears out of the blackness, it is Eloise:

Nid wyf yn y swyddfa ar hyn o bryd. Anfonwch unrhyw waith i'w gyfieithu.

The black fog fades and the 9gals! can be seen again. They sing the Men of Harlech in Welsh.

The black fog fades away and there are the 9gals! with the Roberts' Revival Band without instruments on one side and the Hugh Gaitskell Bass Choir on the other. They sing altogether the Men of Harlech very loudly in English.

The concert ends with a lullaby:

Just a song at twilight, when the lights are low And the flickering shadows softly come and go Though the heart be weary sad the day and long Still to us at twilight comes love's old sweet song