She knew two truths about herself. Mrs Tinge knew that she was an expert in underwear.
Her name was Fiona Ismeralda Tinge, some called her Backwings (not that she had any tattoos), her friends called her FIT. She was an expert in underwear and she knew the perfect fit.
She knew all about socks, stockings, stockings with seams, garters, panty hose, tights, garter belts, suspender belts, knickers, panties, underpants, girdles, corsets, bras, chokers, you name it, Mrs Tinge knew about it and how to fit it.
And she always took time to fit underwear, especially bras. The lovelies, as Mrs Tinge called them, needed hours of manual examination. Mrs Tinge had fingers and hands and she used them. You could trust Mrs Tinge, she was always perfect, she knew what to do with her hands and fingers.
Mrs Tinge liked all the lovelies, small, normal, large and odd. Lopsidedness was one of Mrs Tinge's specialities, especially large, lopsided lovelies.
Lopsidedness happens – naturally, operations, violence (remember Saint Agatha). Mrs Tinge used a sewing machine to make the necessary alterations, fitting Miss Scunthorpe and with the wonderful tattooed lovelies fitting Captain Jane.
There are ladies with odd shapes, fitting Mrs Happy and fitting Mrs Rawlings. There are large ladies with very small lovelies, also small girls with enormous lovelies, Mrs Tinge had her sewing machine ready, fitting Betty.
She took her time examining the lovelies, she always did; but it was not all fun. She always checked for lumps (breast cancer) and black skin patches (skin cancer). She always cradled the lovelies to weigh them, fitting Mrs Large. She also helped men with big breasts.
Some women found Mrs Tinge's fumbling embarrassing, others enjoyed it, fitting Mrs Pearson; but every woman knew that it was necessary, Mrs Tinge always knew the right fit.
With a name like Fiona Ismeralda Tinge what else could she do; she knew the perfect fit for underwear, she could feel it, she always did. She knew two truths about herself, that she was an expert in underwear and that she was a pervert.