If your parents had no children the chances are that you won't either.
Your dad was a puppet.
90% of the Canadian population live within a distance of the Mexican border.
Try swimming in a bucket.
Take a bus ride to the depot!
Before leaving the house for a few days remember to turn everything off, especially the refrigerator and the freezer.
If you share an apartment with others remember to leave a pan of slowly boiling Brussels sprouts in the kitchen before you leave for a few days (or years).
DO IT WRONG!