There was a naked girl lying face down on the bed.
It had been a great party, I was tired and drunk, I didn't recognise her bottom. It was a beautiful bottom, I could see that, it moved slowly up and down. I ripped my clothes off, covered the girl and went to sleep.
In the morning I could still not recognise the bottom, though it was still beautiful.
What's going on? What are you doing in my room? My room? No! What am I doing here? I'm going to scream.
Good morning! Would you like some breakfast?
She screamed, she screamed a lot. The front side of her was as good as the rear side, but I still did not recognise her.
Where are my clothes? How dare you! You better not touch me!
This house is not that big, I haven't found any clothes that might belong to you. Why don't you put on this dressing gown and join me for breakfast.
She put on the dressing gown and said that she was leaving.
OK! If you want to, but it's January and freezing outside.
We had breakfast together, but she wouldn't answer any of my questions. Who was she?
OK! You don't want to tell me anything. OK! I'm going to tell you some things. I haven't touched you, I don't know who you are, and I don't know how you got here. Do you understand?
You've got a beautiful bottom and the rest of you is beautiful too. And if no one has ever told you this before then I'm pleased to be the first one. Secondly, you've got nothing – no clothes, no money, no papers, no nothing – I can't find anything. Thirdly it's very cold outside.
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?