Doreen and Chardonnay

With names like this...

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Copyright © 2009, Michael M Wayman

We've gotta cover our tracks. We can't keep it a secret – that's so true. We kept quiet; but with names like ours, no chance. We've gotta do something real different – to hide the truth.

It was the second time that we got caught. It was all my fault. Why must I do that in the middle of the day? And look at the one who caught us.

They're all strict; but they're kind as well. Just one of them – Miss Cavendish! We like all of the teachers apart from her. Not that she is our teacher – she has never taught us – she teaches “Upper Mathematics” and we are struggling with the lower stuff (and without much success).

She is just there when you don't want her. She always has a hurtful sarcastic word for all of us. She can verbally grab you by the ear, drag you about and hit you hard with the most negative language and in the most sensitive part of you. Yes, she was horrible; but I suppose there is a shortage of maths teachers. She could do what she liked. Two sentences from her and you felt that you had been flung against the wall.

Yes, she caught us. No, we had no excuse. She picked us up with her mouth and threw us against every wall and post and tree that she could see. She told us to be in her room at noon, at lunchtime.

Miss Cavendish has a room, “her study”, and a small apartment on the top floor of the main school building. And this is what we suffered:

You are a disgrace to the school, to your parents, to the whole country.
You are disgusting.
How could you do such a thing?
You are two little perverts.
And so on; but with much pain and violence.

She repeated these words and many others, all violently painful – she did not want to hear a word from us – one long tirade for the whole of the lunch break – no lunch for us. She told us to be in her room at five, our favourite time to watch TV soaps.

I suppose that's it, said Doreen. We'll be thrown out of the school. Our parents will be so angry with us. And what will become of us? I don't want to be without you. I don't think that...

Think about this! I shouted in her ear. She did not threaten us with anything, she repeated the same hurtful words time and time again, those words are not hurtful to me any more. And did you notice how her hands were shaking? No! Something is very odd about Miss Cavendish. Wait and see!

At five it was worse. In her study Miss Cavendish could say what she liked. We learned a lot of new words, all negative. We learned a bookful of insults. We learned them well – she repeated them time and time again. She described what we had been doing when she caught us – she used the most hateful words. Her hands were shaking – was she angry? She described what we had been doing when she caught us – with more detail. Her hands were shaking – was she angry? She described what we had been doing when she caught us. Her hands were shaking – who was she?

She stopped in mid sentence: I want to say...

She grabbed her hands; but they still shook.

She spoke in half sentences: I want... I must not... How could I... I must... I want to... Oh, you are so... Why can't I...

It took Doreen some time to understand – she is much cleverer than me – but we were not prepared. Doreen walked up to Miss Cavendish and pushed the teacher's head slowly but firmly into her chest.

I needed a few more seconds – I turned the key in the door and walked up to Miss Cavendish from behind. I locked my arms behind Doreen's back (always a good idea) and sandwiched the teacher between us.

A surprise for me – Miss Cavendish was much smaller than us two. Oh, yes, when we were first at school all the teachers were big – we always looked up to them – but only now did I notice the change – surprise, surprise, we had grown.

There was a hot teacher between us – just like in an oven – were we baking bread?

At first it was very damp, almost wet in the oven – we could only hear sobs and crying. Dough is soft and damp and shapeless. We said nothing.

Then came the half sentences – a bit more colour. Rise! We said nothing.

Then came the silence. Crispy! We said nothing.

The loaf was baked. We said nothing.

Miss Cavendish! You are now ready. You are now complete. Before you did not know. Before you had questions. You did not have the answers. This was painful for you. You were not complete. You were unhappy because you did not know.

Miss Cavendish! You are now ready. You are now complete.

You do not need to ask questions. The answers are there. There is no choice. There is no need to worry. You know the answers.

Miss Cavendish! You are now ready. You are now complete.

Doreen explained to Miss Cavendish exactly what we were going to do to her. Doreen explained twice and again in more detail.

Miss Cavendish! You are now ready. You are now complete.

You do not need to ask questions. The answers are there. There is no choice. There is no need to worry. You know the answers.

We waited until it was dark.



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with the title D&C and Miss Cavendish