Why do I always find myself dressed in shorts?
I don't like shorts and I don't like wearing shorts. I've got ugly legs, so I would prefer to keep them covered. My legs are ugly man's legs; they are also badly scarred from the many operations I had as a kid. So why should I wear shorts?
Last month I got lost, someone grabbed me, stuffed me into shorts, put me on a bike and I raced around some country for days – I think that I won a prize, the one for ugly legs.
Every year my mother gives me boxer shorts for Xmas. I don't box so I give them to charity. Later I discovered that they were underwear, I still give them to charity.
Oh! You're just the right person to do it. Take all your clothes off! Right now! Just put on these shorts. Oh, yes, and hang this little thing round your neck! Oh, yes, now you're ready to visit all the stores in town.
Visit all the stores in town? Just wearing these thin shorts? It was January and freezing cold. I couldn't buy anything, the shorts had no pockets and I no money. Everybody looked at me, I've got such ugly legs. As I was leaving the first store the alarms went off. I walked on, I had stolen nothing, I had nowhere to hide anything.
In every store the alarms went off, one store detective tried to search me, what could I have stolen? The shorts, perhaps. No, the little thing round my neck was tuned the same way as the alarm systems in the shops.