Monday lunchtime found Kandy, Peter and me in a college cafeteria.
I want my 300 dollars, he shouted. He was big, ugly and was probably studying Applied Sewerage.
I looked at him, not that I really wanted to. Are you a member of the club?
Yeah! I'm a member of the gun club. You are the club treasurer. I need the money. Give it to me!
Yes, I'm the treasurer of the College Rod and Gun Club, but I don't have a membership list with me. I don't carry the club's money around with me. I don't have 300 dollars on me.
Oh, you can borrow the money from your friends...
Wait a moment! You demand money from me. You don't ask. You shout. You don't give your name. You could be anybody. You could give a body indigestion.
He raised his arm. Kandy stood up. Do you want me to step on your foot? And crush it? That's very painful, y'know. Or I could break your arms, even more painful.
He stared and went. I did not finish my meal.
I went to the Club Secretary at the College Student Union for a club membership list. Why hadn't I done that before.
300 dollars you say. Oh, that's in the rules, bit unusual though. Here's the form, student's name and ID-number, the amount, and your signature if you agree to it. And another signature here, from the club president, if he agrees to it. The student then takes it and his student card to the college cashier and the money gets paid into his account, no cash.
Funny thing about your club, the out-going president filed lots of new members and the election of the new president, but there's nothing after that. What's the new president doing?
I bumped into Jake Cotton, the club president. Hello, Jennffer! I've got something for you, the club membership list, lots of new members. So, get going, hand out all the money to the members as quickly as possible. I can't stop. I must run.
The official club list was nicely printed and sorted. Jake's list was untidy, twice as long and partly handwritten. My name was in pencil at the end. John Jones and Jerry Johnson were not on the list. I knew which list I was going to use.
What's the new president doing? I can tell you. It's not a scam, no, it's two scams. Do you really think that these guys are really going to buy a gun? No, they pay ten dollars club subscription and receive 300 – that's scam number one.
John Jones was angry. And all those ten dollars – that's scam number two.
And even worse, I can remember Jake Cotton being on an anti-hunt demo last year.
But Jerry has found out something. There is a law in this state – no state official can give money to anyone for something that needs a licence, when that person has no licence. This college is a state college and you, Jennffer, are an elected state official. You see...
I understand what you say, thank you John, thank you Jerry, but I must do more than thank you, I must calm you down. I'm buying you a drink or three.
Tuesday afternoon I sat at a table in a quiet corner of the student union bar, with a pile of forms, one membership list and a large sign “COLLEGE ROD AND GUN CLUB”.
John Jones and Jerry Johnson were my first customers, no problem, they were on the list, they had their gun licences with them.
The word spread quickly. The people came, but no, you're not on the club membership list, sorry, come again tomorrow when I have a new list. The people came, but no, you haven't got a valid gun licence, so I can't help you.
Jake Cotton came later. I've got a new list for you, even more people. Have you given out lots of money, Jennffer?
Just these two, just sign them here.
Oh, only two.
Everyone else was just not on the list, but you've given me a new list. I'll be here tomorrow. No, that's it for today, three hours you know.
I watched Kandy knocking the stuffing out of Peter – she is a vicious thug.
I parted the two of them and wrapped my arms around them.
They are the most gentle, cuddly creatures.