I know why I like looking at the girls in the changing rooms and especially under the showers. Oh, yes! I like girls. I like Jennffer too, and not just like, but you know that.
So, big surprise, after the game I wandered into the boys' changing room, why I don't know, not that the boys said anything. I told them how well they had played, also how badly they'd played once or twice, and a lot of good words for the future. Gotta keep the team spirit up.
Just like I always do with the girls after a hockey match. However not lovely girls to look at, no, lovely boys. Yes, I discovered that I like boys too.
I suppose it started at our little barbecue, that was my idea, I did like sitting on Peter's lap. And that's the problem.
Jennffer is such a soft and gentle lover, how could I wish for more, how could I upset Jennffer and Peter. I remember the last time, almost a disaster. I had to tell the brutal truth to Peter. He is such a good boy, he accepted it.
And that's the problem – Jennffer is so gentle and Peter is so good and I want to get my teeth into Peter and be real violent with him. I can't help it.
There are these two monsters in my head, one wants me to have violent sex with Peter – oh, what lovely fantasies – and the other commands me to forget it.
And that's making me very unhappy. I noticed I'm not the only one. Peter looks miserable too.
“No, no, Miss Scunthorpe! I'm not unhappy, really not. I look miserable, you say? Ah, yes, I know, Henry says it all the time. I'm thinking.”
“When I'm thinking hard, my face all screws up and I look terrible. But I'm not unhappy, really not. Do you know what I'm thinking? I'll tell you.”
“First of all, the barbecue, it was great! Good idea!” He kissed me on the end of my nose. That was hard for me, I wanted more, much more.
“We're leaving school at the end of next year. Well, only if we pass our exams, but I think we can. We want to go to college. And there it is, the big, open future, plenty to think about, you know.”
We? We leaving? We leaving school? Jennffer and Peter leaving? Oh, NO!
“Of course, Miss Scunthorpe, when I say we, I mean the three of us, you, me and Jennffer. Yes, I know that the school means a lot to you, but there's plenty of time to think out our plans together. It's all very uncertain, but we've got to be positive about it, we three are winners, you know.”