Very fishy. He was thinking about fish. He ate fish, he liked eating fish, especially salmon. He supposed that the fish were killed first before he could eat them. He had once seen a big glass box with fish in it, they were very colourful, but very small. They did not look good to eat and they did not appear to be very intelligent.
Water, fish needed water, everywhere where there was much water is perhaps full of fish. He did not like lots of water, but he did like fish, or rather eating fish. However not those ‘orrible grey things that were full of evil and nastiness and hate. He spent the whole day thinking about fish.
There had been lots of reports about evil and nastiness and hate in the nearby small towns and villages. Angie had drawn a route on the map that passed through most of the small towns and villages. The next day Angie put the harness on the cat and they went for a ride, Angie followed her route.
The cat liked going for a ride, not very fast, plenty to look at. In the third village he tapped his paw on her shoulder and she stopped the car. He knew; there was evil and nastiness and hate, some of those ‘orrible grey fish and a man, it was always a man; he just knew.
The man was standing on the canal bank feeding the fish in the water. This was too easy, the cat crept up behind the man and pushed him into the water, no big surprise, the man couldn’t swim.
Big surprise for the ‘orrible grey fish, two months supply of fish food and a man to eat. They went frantic, just like piranha, they stuffed themselves. They guzzled and they gorged. The evil and nastiness and hate was too much for the cat, he vomited, Angie took him home.
The fish were stuffed, their guts were full, the fermentation started, they floated to the surface of the canal and exploded.
It was rather odd, there was a man and there was a source of evil and nastiness and hate, but they were not in the same place and also, no fish. The cat did not approach the man, he circled around the area and found a man full of evil and nastiness and hate hiding behind a bush.
A gust of wind blew down the standing man, he was a cardboard cut-out. The cat jumped on the man crouching behind a bush, the man pulled out a gun, the cat snapped the man’s forearm with his left paw, the man tried to use his other arm – snap, snap, snap.
The evil and nastiness and hate was too much for the cat, he vomited, Angie took him home.
On the radio that evening was a report about a legless and ‘armless man who had been found near the village of Knowlyms. He said that he had been attacked by a large cat.
Angie had been planning it for days, her birthday. Her apartment was small, but big enough for all her friends and the cat of course. “And now for the high point of the evening.”
Angie started the video. “This is how the cat and me got rid of all the evil and nastiness and hate in this part of the world. See how the cat crumples the men with the evil and nastiness and hate, see him punch ‘em first with the left paw and then with the right paw. Seven men and countless ‘orrible grey fish.”
After all the guest had left, Angie sat on the sofa with the cat. She stroked him and tickled his occiput.