All I had on was a white cloak.

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Copyright © 2016, Michael M Wayman

The Royal Deputy-Chief-Executioner made a long speech, he handed the microphone to the Royal Deputy-Chief Justice who read out a whole list of crimes that I had apparently committed. I did not understand a word, the language used was very old and forgotten. But they were all wearing such wonderful, shining and colourful clothing; all I had on was a white cloak and my daughter a black one.

Nobody in the huge crowd standing in the square understood either; but they clapped the speech and the list of crimes. One of the Royal Assistant-Deputy-Chief-Executioners handed me the microphone, another of Royal Assistant-Deputy-Chief-Executioners was sharpening the sword, the other Royal Assistant-Deputy-Chief-Executioners were holding my daughter and me.

I thanked the Royal Chief-Executioner and the Royal Chief Justice. It was most gracious of them to attend. Applause. I praised the speech of the Royal Deputy-Chief-Executioner and the crime list of the Royal Deputy-Chief Justice. Much applause. I had to say: I paean the Royal Deputy-Chief-Executioner and I paean the Royal Deputy-Chief Justice. More applause.

“I shall enjoy the next part of the ceremony. My name is Boyle – this is significant. The Royal Chief-Executioner, the Royal Chief Justice, the Royal Deputy-Chief-Executioner and the Royal Deputy-Chief Justice shall now boil.”

It was terrible to see, the Royal Chief-Executioner, the Royal Chief Justice, the Royal Deputy-Chief-Executioner and the Royal Deputy-Chief Justice were in agony. Soon everything was covered in hot steaming blood – apart from my very white cloak.

The Royal Assistant-Deputy-Chief-Executioners ran away. I walked to the side of the Execution Square to the big building with the big balcony – the big tribune – with my daughter and stared up at all the very important people all dressed in fancy dress.

The Royal Assistant-Deputy-King stood up and addressed me; he told me that he would personally come down and cut my head off; he waved a sword at me – probably not very sharp.

He came down very abruptly and quickly – the balcony crashed to the ground. I don't think that anyone survived – the Royal Kings-Protection Troop of soldiers under the balcony and the twenty-odd very important persons on the balcony.

The crowd roared with laughter – were they happy.

I grabbed my daughter and left the square. “We'll go to the airport, it's only two kilometres away.” A high-ranking officer, one of the Royal Kings-Protection-Generals tried to block the way. I told him to boil and he did.

Ever tried to board a plane without a ticket or a passport. Rather difficult. A few more generals boiled and we were let onto a plane. Where was it flying to? Who cares, as long as it's leaving this place.

“Well, Boyl'let, we got out of this one, didn't we?”

“Mother, you're always doing this, it's getting embarrassing, you know.”

Have you read standardised and long clone and wash me?