Nostalgia is not what it used to be.

StoryKettle » Amy » nostalgia

Copyright © 2020, Michael M Wayman

We started with Scarlet Ribbons and Those were the Days my Friend. Enda picked up the radio mic. “Hello everybody! Hello Doncaster! Welcome to our nostalgia tour. We’re three years old, three years of playing you our music, three years since we were last in Doncaster. Three hours to sing those songs older than three years. So how about a song about a man with three legs? We have eighteen legs.”

We sang Jake the Peg and Trace pranced around on three legs. We belted out I'm the Leader of the Gang; and did a very schmaltzy Everyone's Gone To The Moon.

More emotion with Elusive Butterfly, Trace grew wings and flew around the audience, we always perform out of doors. Starry, Starry Night and Dance Me to the End of Love followed.

Harlequin and Eloise marched to the middle of the audience and stood back to back on a small platform. Trace came dancing towards them bowing a fiddle, he played a few opening chords of Eloise and Harlequin and Eloise sang The Weaver’s Answer very loudly and then Eloise very, very loudly.

Mo picked up the radio mic. “Hello again! Let me answer a question that we are often asked. Who and what are the nine girls? We were born at the very late age of about eighteen. That means that we have had no childhood and that we have eighteen legs. That was three years ago, we’ve learnt a lot, to sing, to dance, to have fun, it’s been hard work.”

“We tried childhood, we went to the seaside, we went to school, we played with toys, it didn’t work. We never had a childhood and we never will. We are adults with no history. We have to take it like it is.”

“We’re now going to open a book, a book with rhymes and pictures, a book for little children. We’re going to sing some of these rhymes. The book is called Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes and my favourite is Hey, diddle, diddle, The Cat and the Fiddle”

“We are 9gals! Mary, Margaret, Mo, Jenny, Jolly, Jo, Eloise, Enrica, Enda, Mrs Greatscan, Harlequin, Jollity, Jimmie, Amy, Trace and the policewoman.” We were all on the stage, except Trace and the policewoman who appeared behind us ten metres tall.

“And for the next hour we are going to perform whatever we damn well choose, ‘cus we’re having fun.”