I was at a seminar about adolescence, I was looking around for someone to talk to, I saw someone. “Hello Mrs T!” “It’s Thea Bulge isn’t it? Hello there!”
Mrs T was as happy and joyful as usual. “You’re interested in adolescence, Mrs T?” “Oh yes, I get lots of teenage girls asking about their lovelies, some boys too.”
“It’s always about bulges, too many bulges, too few bulges, bulges in the wrong place, ugly bulges and so on. I always say start again:”
“We humans are geometrically closed bodies, we have an inside and an outside, the inside is all us and the outside is not us. And our skin is the boundary that determines us; it is not box-shaped, but rounded, mostly convex, convex bulges. The only time you look box-shaped is when you are in a coffin.”
“Look in the mirror, Mrs Bulge! Yes, but sideways. Look at the side of you! What do you see?” I looked, I certainly did not look box-shaped, a good shape really.
“What do you see, Mrs Bulge? Your tits stick out one way, just as they should on a lady. Your bot sticks out the other way, just as it should on a lady. There is nothing hidden. What more do you want?”
“So, humans have bulges, humans must have bulges, women have bigger bulges than men. You can’t argue with that. Some people like thin people, others like plump people – everybody’s makes their own choice. You have to like bulges – big or little – call them love handles if you will.”
“You certainly know your stuff, Mrs T. How about shepherd’s pie and sekt at my place this evening?”