The only girl I like is my sister, we were always close, we still are. I've had several girlfriends, they were OK, for a while. Several boyfriends too, but that too is long ago.
I'm bored of girls and I'm bored of boys, I only like my sister. She stays with me for two weeks every year, she goes horse riding in the morning, we go for long walks in the afternoon and cook something good in the evening.
“You like me because I wear high heels or jodhpurs when I'm riding. Very sexy. They make my behind stick out, just like a horse. They walk on their toes, you know.”
One morning she persuaded me to go with her to the riding school. “You can see me jump and maybe you'll meet a nice girl or a nice boy. The stable girls are nice too.”
Horse jumping is boring; the head stable girl, who wore a wedding ring, showed me all the horses, they were mostly brown, beautiful and boring. I can only remember two of them.
“Each horse has its own stall and a blackboard with the horse's name, feed and medication on it. The upper half of the door is left open during the day.” “So why has this stall got steel mesh on it?” “Look at the blackboard!”
I read “Lancelot – Keep your distance!” “Look through the mesh. Lancelot is a big, black stallion and dangerous. The only one who rides him is Littl' Lilly, he adores her, he does everything she wants, a little eleven-year-old on top of a ginormous horse.”
“Why do you keep such a dangerous animal?” “Easy, Littl' Lilly's parents have too much money. Anyway, all the horses are crazy, they are frightened by just about anything, like umbrellas. We just like riding them.”
I felt a hand move slowly down my back, I knew what that meant “I like you.” Who was it? I turned to meet a white pony who wanted to tell me “I like you. Please ride me.”
“Nottingham is not a pony, he's got very short legs.” “Why is he not in his stall?” “Oh, Nottingham wouldn't like that. He's very gentle and stupid. Everyone learns to ride on Nottingham. He's boring to ride, but he's small and slow and easy to ride. I've never seen him gallop.”
“He likes to be with us, like a little dog, he follows us around. He's scared of Lancelot and hides in the ladies toilets if he sees Littl' Lilly.”
I saw the girls' group ride their horses in one direction and half an hour later the boys' group in the other. Funny, that was no way to meet, though none of them appealed to me.
That evening I asked my sister why the stable girls kept saying odd things about Nottingham. She laughed, “It's a running joke that all the stable girls like horses more than humans.” I had the most strange dreams about Nottingham that night.
Once was enough, the riding school was boring, but no, “You must go today, the special group is riding out this morning. You must like one of them.”
In the paddock was a crowd of schoolchildren taking turns to ride Nottingham in slow circles. Nothing special about this group I thought. I waited until the children were gone. Suddenly Nottingham disappeared into the stables – he's probably seen Littl' Lilly.
“That's Littl' Lilly on Lancelot followed by Mrs Pearson. She owns a large factory in Bigtown, loads of money.” A girl less than half my age and a woman double it. “The thin one is Miss Winsilver, she runs the public library in the village, no one knows much about her, doesn't speak much, bit of a mystery.”
“That's Jimmy, comes from the richest family in the village, but doesn't show off. He drives an ordinary car, he brings his younger sister and brother too, sometimes his mother. There are his siblings.” More interesting.
“Aren't those three young women pretty, they've just inherited the big castle on the hill. Wouldn't you like to get your teeth into one or all of them?” There were more than twenty riders and most of them were interesting, at least to me.
I chose one of them and followed this person home. I waited a minute before I rang the doorbell. “Hello Mrs Pearson, I'm...” “Oh yes, I know who you are. You live near the riding school, don't you?” I stared at her. I said the words that I had prepared, but they came out in the wrong order. She stared at me.
“You'd better come inside.” I followed her into the kitchen. “Sit down and I'll make coffee.” I sat down. The coffee was good.
“Normally I have a shower after horse riding, but let me get this right. You come to my door and tell me you want to lick me all over.” I don't remember saying that, however I said nothing. “I'm going to think this through.”
I stared at her. She stared at me. The thought of removing her jodhpurs and licking a very sweaty Mrs Pearson all over was very appealing to me. I stared at her. She stared at me.